BR043 Hat In Thought

I changed trains to Burrow Hall and sat down next to a old Skunk for a couple of stops and then felt like I needed better air. It wasn't exactly that he smelled really bad but it somehow felt stale and airless all around the old guy. It could have been an old age thing. I walked through the train into the next carriage, which was fairly full, and then I just kept on walking. In the carriage after that I saw Professor Hat sitting all on his own.
Actually, he wasn't on his own, he had his Doves and Bunnies with him and in fact one of the Doves was perched on the rim of his top hat. But Amanda Rabbit wasn't with him. And his whole presence was that of an animal alone. He was deep in thought, with his hand resting on his chin, leaning forward in his seat and staring intently. I didn't even feel comfortable interrupting him be saying hello. Other animals, sitting across for him, were looking at him with great interest.
"Hey, Jack," called Meenie. "What are you doing here?"
"I'd been spotted so I walked right over. Hat looked up and came out of his daze, waving me into the seat next to him.
"Jack," he said as soon as I sat down next to him. "I've just been thinking about your business."
"Really?" I said, "You mean the Jackster plant."
"The Jackster, yes." and he looked like he might go back into his daze for a moment. "The Jackster. What I was thinking about was some way that cars on the highway could be connected the way these individual trains are tied together on this track. What if there were some kind of invisible coupling that could manage the power in individual cars as soon as they were part of a chain? Like when they travel fast down a highway."
"It sounds great," I volunteered, "as long as you could find some way to do it technically. Do you have any ideas for it?"
"I was just thinking as you turned up," and Hat gave me his shy smile, "That I might talk to some Spiders about it."

BR022 Modern Mole

BR023 Observatory

BR040 Enjoying Rain

BR036 Banana Fritters

   I supervised the wrecked racing car being trucked back to the Jackster plant and became the last of our team to leave the Dog Brothers Racetrack. Condon Duck had been whisked away to some celebratory party. I could have ridden back with Ben Bear and his crew but I decided to take the train and go straight home to the studio. I walked outside and up to the public part of the stadium, enjoying the lonely view, and climbed long stairs to the central exit which passed through into a wide circular hallway of concrete. Little bunker-like windows punctuated the outside wall with a good view out over the slightly sad neighbourhood of low-level residential properties around Dog Brothers.

    The corridor was empty and quiet but at the front, where it slopes down to the underground train station, I could hear some clattering noises before I came far enough around the curve to see what was making it. Somehow I wasn't surprised when I saw it was Si Rabbit, clearing up from his Banana Fritter stand.

    "Hey Si," I called out, nice and loud. "You look like you're the last one." 

    "Well, if it isn't Jack Rabbit," he called back, "I haven't seen you in a long Turtle!"

    "Where's Lucky?" I asked. Lucky was Si's wife, who usually was bent over the stove cooking up the fritters.

    "She's home in bed. Not too strong on her pins these days. How long has it been, Jack?" 

    "Four or five years I guess. I don't get out to the track much any more."

    "Too busy with your car factory," and Si nodded knowingly. "I guess you let Condon do the racing."

    "It looks that way," I said. 

    "It must be more like six or seven, I should say," and Si gave me a long stare. 

    "Well, it's good to see you, Si." 

    "Condon made a fool of himself today, if you ask me, Jack, spreading himself all over the tarmac like that, right after winning the race."

    "Yeah, it was quite a crash. Expensive, too." 

    "I would have been ashamed of myself, in my younger days, letting my tail lift like that on the finish line. It's like you're too excited for your own good. You've got to whoosh straight through with real style!" and he demonstrated whooshing straight through with both his hands gliding quickly through the air. For a short moment he looked like a much younger Rabbit. In all the years I'd known Si he had never referred to his racing days. I only knew what I did about it from stories told around the track. 

    "I would have loved to see you in your prime, Si," I said. 

    "Come back again soon, Jack. Come for a fritter. It's always good to see you," and he turned away from me and began lowering his red and white umbrella with the Banana Fritters sign on it. 

BR039 Full Moon

BR037 Fur Potion

BR038 Warthog Stiff

BR034 Smash Up Time

Prince Bullpup presented the winning trophy to Condon after the race. The Bees won it for Condon, if you ask me, helping with their air power to engineer a tremendous surge at the end. They pushed it so fast that the car would have gone airborne if we hadn't installed baffles at the back to prevent lift. It was probably that mechanism that caused the car to careen slightly after it had crossed the finish line and then go into a complete flip, crashing straight down onto the front end.

For a long moment the crowd held its breath as the other racers sped past the crashed car and the emergency vehicles turned on their sirens. The crowd waited painfully as the smoke cleared around the car and then started cheering as the door opened and Condon leapt out onto the tarmac. With a grand flourish he made a little bow and then the crowd went wild, jumping up and screaming and clapping with joy.

Condon, of course, loved every minute of it and he kept basking in the glory of his expanding legend throughout the trophy ceremony, milking the moment for everything he could get out of it. For Condon the Bees, the car, everything else was momentarily forgotten.

Personally, I couldn't take a lot of pleasure in it, or any. I'd known the car was fast and since it was a prototype I'd been looking forward to getting it back to the Jackster plant and fine tuning the thing. Now it was a wreck, waiting to be shovelled off the track. And the Bees were seriously disheartened. The crash had shook them up badly and the first thing they did when I arranged for the hood to come off was to call for a medic. An ambulance took about a hundred of them to the East Poultry Hospital Burn Unit. The head Bee said he would take the rest of his workers back to the Jackster plant immediately in a taxi. He said he would be making a report right away to the Queen Bee and that I'd probably hear from her in the morning.

I called Jilly, still up in the Beastburg Gazette box, and told her to go home without me. I knew I'd be dealing with the mess for at least another hour. 

BR035 Mouse Train

R988 Poppa's Plea

Poppa:  Waiting tables is beneath you, Peggy. I want to take you away from all this.

Peggy:  I just love attending to people's needs in this way.

Poppa:  But I want you to attend to my needs!

Peggy:  OK, what can I get you?

BR031 Full Moon Songs

BR 032 End is Nigh

BR020 Fixed Race

While I was down on the track waiting for Condon Duck at the pit stop Jilly was up in the press box, or rather in the next-door box that the Beastburg Gazette owns. She had been invited by Condon's sister-in-law, Melba, who is in favour with the great editor, Leo Lion, at the moment. She is on the Celebrity Desk.

Melba was there with her three chicks, nervously trying to keep them quiet in case her emplyer decided to throw them all out. This is something he is entirely capable of. He is well known to have very little patience with any young creatures, including Ducklings. When Leo Lion is at the races he is there to relax and enjoy his luxurious box.

Later on Jilly told me about her conversation with him.

“Who are you rooting for?! Asked Jilly.

“I don't need to root for anybody,” said the great Lion. “I'm a winner in today's race, whatever the outcome.”

“How is that?” asked Jilly.

“I have effectively fixed the race by making sure the results come in before my afternoon paper is put to bed. That's all that matters to me.” And then Leo gave her his Leonine grin.

BR030 Ugly and Cruel

BR029 Flipping Sides

BR028 Sunbathing Snakes

                                 "Sunbathing is in our DNA."

BR027 Snakes

BR024 Environmental Snail

BR026 Plumbing Book

BR015 Apple Blossom

BR019 Snake Racer

BR018 Bee Power

I'd agreed to help Condon Duck who was racing our new engine for the first time at the Dog Brothers Racetrack. We'd had trials that went well but we wanted to check it out under the pressure of a real race.

Condon has always been our best driver but he can't avail himself of pedal power. Lots of the other racers now have adapted our Jackster to give themself an extra edge. They would still use petrol as well, but they'd get that pedal power boost.

Condon's latest model uses an assist of air power, provided by Bees. Unfortunately, the Bees aren't comfortable being in such close proximity to the petrol motor. It made them angry.

I waited at the pit stop as Condon hared around the track, making very good time. Suddenly he lost a bit of speed and his driving became erratic. He was able to pull in and stop his car and we pulled open the front bonnet. The Bees came flowing out, at least all the ones that weren't bumping around hitting their heads on the side of the engine compartment.

"What's that matter boys?" I asked, "Is it the petrol?"

"No, Boss," said the head Bee. "It's the buzzing of the other cars on top of our natural desire to win. It's making us mad. And when we get mad we overheat."

"Come on, guys," Said Condon. "You provide the air power and I'll win the race."

"I think it's the petrol," I told the head Bee.

"It isn't the petrol." said the head Bee, "My bees are obsessed with winning."

"Tell them them to relax," said Condon, "I'll win the race. They just have to provide the air power."

"OK, boss," said the head Bee and he herded his bees back into the car.

BR021 Hairy Spider

BR017 Portrait Talk

BR017 Spider School

BR008 Hungry Fly

   

Jilly and I were both fast asleep when I found myself being awoken  by a buzzing noise. It was Jazlin. "I'm hungry!" she said.   

    "Go back to sleep," I told her, "and don't let Jilly wake up. She didn't finish singing at the Egret Club until after midnight."   

    "I didn't have enough to eat last night," said Jazlin. "You always think Flies live on nothing but we don't."

    "Go look for crumbs down in the kitchen."

    "Jilly tells me not to. She says it's common."

    It's the middle of the night," I said, "No one will see you."

    "I want proper Fly food."

    Jilly turned over and opened up her eyes. "What's going on?" she said.    

    "I'm hungry," said Jazlin.

    "Why didn't you get up and get her something to eat, Jack?" said Jilly.

    "He told me to go eat crumbs," said Jazlin. 

    "That's terrible," Jilly was half out of bed now, "I'll get you some Fly food. You need to be well fed for your day at school tomorrow!"

    "I don't want to go to school tomorrow," said Jazlin, "I want a day off!"

    "Why?" I asked.

    "Because I'm sick of being the littlest one in my class. I'm probably the littlest one in the whole school!"

    So we both got up. Down in the kitchen we talked it all over until Jazlin felt all right about things. Jazlin had her Fly food and we shared a carrot smoothie. 

    By the time we got back to bed the dawn was showing out the window.

    "You'd better take her to school today," said Jilly. "I'm going to need to sleep in."

    "Fine," I said.

Br011 Mixed Species

    Jilly and I spent the afternoon up in Hampsterhead with Don and Ella. Ella Pussycat and Jilly worked out in the garden while Don Owl and I talked politics in the bedroom. He was in his purple dressing gown, propped up in bed and I was sitting by the window. We heard them enter the kitchen downstairs and clatter about making tea. They called to us as they came up the stairs and we all went into the living room together. 
    After Ella poured the tea she went to the desk in the  corner and brought back a wrapped present, a book, and presented it to Jilly. 
    "What is it?" asked Jilly.
    "Open it and see," said Ella.
    "It's not my birthday for another two months," Jilly started unwrapping the package. "I can't think what the occasion could be to warrant such a beautifully wrapped gift."
    "The occasion is, belatedly, to celebrate your adoption of young Jazlin."
    "Oh my," said Jilly, looking at the title of the book, "How To Raise A Fly."
    "Starting a mixed breed family I thought you might appreciate a bit of professional advice!"

BR012 Raising Flies

Just then Jazlin came flying through the window from the garden.

"Look, Jazlin!" said Jilly, "How To Raise A Fly!"

"What's that?" And little Jazlin flew over to where Jilly was sitting on the sofa.

"It's a book that Ella Pussycat just gave me. It will be full of good advice for me and Jack about how to look after you."

"It seems an unusual subject for a book," said Jazlin.

"That's true," I chipped in. "I hadn't thought of that."

"You'll notice," Don Owl remarked, "that it is quite a large book. There is quite a lot of territory to cover. Of course, a mother Fly wouldn't need all that information. They would understand perfectly how to raise a young fly without the aid of a book. But for Rabbits like yourself it seemed to us a very useful aid."

"Thank you," said Jilly, "Thank you both very much."

"You are most welcome, dear." And Ella came and sat by Jilly on the sofa.

"I've never even heard of anyone else adopting a Fly," buzzed Jazlin.

"That's just what I thought," said Don, "My very words when I first heard about it. Uncharted territory, that's what it is. 'Jack and Jilly will have to find their own way with this one,' is what I told Ella."

"And I said, 'They will certainly have to write the book on this one," said Ella.

"Then how did you..." but Jilly didn't finish her sentence as at that moment she started to leaf through the pages, looking at the book very intently. Then she laughed and held the open book up for me to see. "It's empty!" she exclaimed. "They are all blank pages!"

"Exactly," said Don, "This is the book you will have to write."

"We had it made up by a local bookbinder," said Ella. "Notice the lovely paper."

"I knew it!" Jazlin was buzzing around in circles now. "No fly would ever have anything to do with such a big heavy book. We would just have done one of our little Fly dances and considered you informed!"

BR013 Paper Replacement

BR009 Solar At Night

On the Jackster Plant rooftop garden they always fix the solar panels at night. 

BR010 Singing Lesson

BR004 Mole Books

BR003 Soothsayers

BR002 Beard Extenders

BR001 Bugs have Mothers

B1: Do bugs have mothers?

B2: Bugs is mothers!

B2: HA HA HA

B1: I was asking a serious question